Living the Question

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"Community of Light "
by Candee Basford
Copywrite 2005

Isabelle
Kailene Wells

Why I wrote the story about Isabelle
During one Action Learning meeting, we watched a few segments from a John McKnight video called Asset Based Community Development. The video touched my heart in so many ways. It really showed what community was all about and unfortunately, what was lacking in a great number of peoples lives today.

As I sat down and started to reflect on my life and what role I have played in community these wonderful memories of my friend Isabelle came to mind. I realized that I had been part of a wonderful community experience in the years that I knew Isabelle. She shared so many of her gifts with me, most, of which had no monetary value but gifts that I hold today in my heart. She and her family helped teach me how to be a true friend through good times and bad.

I’ve come to find that when you share yourself with others not only do they benefit but also the person sharing his or her time, self and special gifts seem to be the ones that are truly blessed. This sad but joyful experience made me realize what I want for family, friends and myself.

The next morning, I wrote the Isabelle story and shared it and the video with our Donnelsville C.A.R.E.S. group. After viewing this powerful video, they too realized how important this message on community was. That is when we decided to bring John McKnight to our school and community. His visit has made an ever-lasting impression on many of the people in our community.

Isabelle

One day I walked into a local hair salon to get a haircut. I proceeded to get my hair trimmed and I walked to the counter to pay. I was talking to the stylist (by the way who is a parent of two Donnelsville students) and I just happened to think about my grandmother’s quilt that needed to be repaired, so I asked the stylist if she knew of anyone who did quilting. She thought for a minute, turned to a woman under the hairdryer and asked, “Hey Isabelle, do you still do quilting?”

Isabelle, a beautiful woman in her late 70’s, lifted the dryer and answered yes. I found out that she repaired quilts and that she was more than willing to look at the quilt and let me know what she could do. Later on that week, I dropped the quilt off. Isabelle wasn’t very optimistic because the quilt was old and the torn material would be hard to replace but she took it anyway. About a month went by and I hadn’t heard anything. I finally got up the nerve to call and she said it had taken her a lot longer and it was harder than she thought to repair but she figured it would be done by next week. My heart dropped because I thought this was going to cost me a fortune. At the time I wasn’t working and I was staying home with my two children but I sighed and thought it would be worth it because it was my grandmother’s quilt. So I went to her house the next week to pick up the quilt. She showed me all of the wonderful work she had done and she asked, “Is $20.00 too much”, I said, “No”, and I gave her $40.00. I wished I could have given her more because the love and hard work she put into every stitch. I was overwhelmed by what a kind soul she was.

Our friendship blossomed from there. She invited my mom (a lonely widow) and me (an isolated stay-at-home mom) over to play cards and have lunch. We shared many wonderful afternoons of stories and delicious recipes. She taught me how to can beef and make the best peach cobbler I’ve ever tasted. I bought many of Isabelle’s hand sown treasures throughout the time I knew her and I cherish them still to this day. Through her, I got to know many people who have been a blessing to me to this very day. Her husband (a former nursery owner) taught me how to trim fruit trees; her husband’s nephew (Mr. Steele, a science teacher at Tecumseh) taught my daughter in High School and her brother became my mom’s best friend and companion. Wow!

After many years, of wonderful family gatherings and fabulous times, Isabelle was diagnosed with cancer. Everyone that knew her was crushed. The most amazing thing was how everyone rallied around her. They were hopeful and helpful. As she got sicker and went to the hospital, they set up a vigil where someone was at her side every minute of the day. I volunteered for a few evenings myself and even though it was sad it was wonderful at the same time. We shared so much in those wee hours of the morning that still comfort me to this day.

One night while I was with her at the hospital, I fell asleep and I woke up about 1:30 in the morning to find Isabelle at the foot of her bed almost falling out. I asked, “Isabelle, what are you doing?” She said, “I am going to get up and walk”. Isabelle had been very weak and hadn’t eaten much, but the doctor told her if she could get up a walk she could go home. Just at that time the nurse (a former student of Mr. Steel’s and a current parent at Donnelsville) came and asked what was going on. She said, “Well, if you are going to walk, we need to get you up”, and so we did. Isabelle went home three days later. Isabelle died a month later but her friends and family surrounded her. Weeks after her funeral, her husband gave me many of Isabelle’s hand made works and sewing items that are all wonderful reminders of what a special person she was. And to think, all of this happened because of a question that was asked.

I feel blessed to have known her and to have been part of the wonderful community that surrounded her. As I wrote the story I was amazed at the connections that had been made. Could she have been in a nursing home isolated with only social services in her life for her last days on earth? Yes, but she wasn’t. What I have seen, through knowing her, is what I want for my family, my surrounding community and me.