Living the Question

"Community of Light "
by Candee Basford
Copywrite 2005

Action Learning in the Community
Candee Basford
January 2005

Eight of us, all women originally organized into an action learning group around the needs and problems of our children. We started with a focus on improving our children's educational achievement. I facilitated the group and I participated by working on my own question within the group. I don’t live in the same community as the rest of the participants but our questions and issues were similar and we all learned together. My role as facilitator was supported with funds provided by a grant secured by the local public school.

Eventually, as we met and learned over time, we moved deeper into our questions about our children's success and failures in school. Together we were able to wade through the effects of standardized testing and the achievement pressures placed on our children by the system, by the state and federal government. We hadn’t realized how much these pressures shaped our interactions with our children. Learning together helped us understand and recognize the inner and outer sources of our frustrations and of our joy.

One participant in the group expresses this realization and transformation in her written reflection.
"I came to the action learning group as a parent of a struggling fourth grader. In action learning I learned that maybe the obstacles to overcome were mine and not my daughters. Like accepting I can no longer make everything okay just because I’m the mom. I can’t make others do what I want just because I think I know what’s best. I have developed a strong sense of connection to other women who I only knew as moms before this experience. School processes would have us believe our child is the only one with the problem whatever the problem may be. Now I know other families face the same fears and challenges I face. As a group, we have shared our fears, and came up with ideas to help each other feel empowered again. School life has a tendency to take that feeling away from parents when our children are struggling and we hit a brick wall at every turn. This group of everyday moms helped me remember I love my child and that is the greatest gift I can give. I stopped harassing my daughter over her four hours of homework - why aren’t you working harder in class. (All the things we do when we don’t know what else to do.) I worked more on building her confidence and encouraged her to have faith for surly fourth grade would pass. We each made the other feel stronger through learning about one another and sharing our stories. The compassion felt and shown through this group of ‘just moms’ has carried me through the end of elementary life for my daughter. I have built some relationships for myself. These friendships have helped me feel stronger, more connected, and better able to see the big picture. It is easier to accept people for who they are and look within the individual for their special gift. I am truly grateful for the awesome experience."

Together, we became more resilient, better able to cope and bounce back from difficulties and challenges. The process gave us an opportunity to reframe our experiences and our viewpoints and to see in new ways. We took steps or actions that moved into a more positive future. We became a network of support for each other. We created lasting bonds.

Another participant wrote of her experience: "I soon discovered that the Action Learning Group was a safe haven to express my frustration as a mom and a wonderful place to brag about my children. Thankfully, I also learned that I was my own worst enemy when it came to labeling. Mentally, I had taken my label gun and labeled my children as things that I needed to fix. I mistakenly looked at my son and saw the diagnosis “gifted” and had checked that part off as good and then looked at the diagnosis “learning disabled” and started my list of what I needed to fix. I had never looked at the entire package as a gift nor had I ever considered what I really wanted for him or his sister. Instead, I attacked each problem with fervor and tried desperately to make everything “right”. As I listened to other moms in the group express themselves through a portfolio exercise, I suddenly realized what I had done. Of course, I had to go to the next meeting to figure out how to look at things differently.

Each meeting was a time of fun and introspection. At times, I left feeling overwhelmed, but I also reveled in the comfort that my new friends brought. Delighting in my new attitude toward my children, I changed my perspective. Now, my children are the complete packaged gift, and I look at them with awe at what they can accomplish and do. They have taught me so much in one year! The best part of the entire experience is that these lessons were free! No tuition ever came due.
I have taken action this year. I’ve helped to write a better IEP (individualized education program) for my son and I helped walk my daughter through the testing process. More importantly, I’ve grown as a woman and as a mom. I’ve realized gifts I didn’t know I had and I’ve made new friends. I’m seeing my children through different eyes and I’m excited about the future for them. This year has been an incredible year and I thank all who were involved."

During the process of learning together, we moved from the original stance of trying to fix what was broken about our children and trying to repair their deficiencies and failures. We began instead to rediscover something we had forgotten - our children’s gifts and how to build on those gifts. We also learned more about each other’s gifts and soon discovered or perhaps remembered our own personal gifts.

My own reflections as a member and facilitator of this action learning experience came in the form of an image created with watercolor and fabric. I'd been experimenting with art or image making to express my experiences. I’ve found it very powerful. Reflecting via image making calls forth a deep level of inquiry, action and reflection and taps into an expressive space that resonates with me. I call the watercolor and fabric image "A Community of Light.” I think perhaps that the light shining on the village reflects deep insights and new awareness of what is really important, what matters to us. When a member of our group saw the image for the first time she exclaimed, “We are the calm in the storm!”

The spiral represents our group’s collective learning experience as a series of insights or aha moments – a movement of growth, knowledge, insights, reflections, relationships, and evolving puzzles. Coming together in this way helped create a vibrant community in which we became stronger by recognizing our individual and collective gifts and by increasing our ability to understand and tackle difficult issues. Candee Basford